What did the teachers have to say regarding this portion of the strategy?
“Having already established a relationship with the parents, [this] made it much easier. I have a student with a severe behavior disorder. When a problem arose I felt very comfortable talking to the parents.”
“Personal eMails about family issues and social issues were just easier to follow up on.”
“It was clear that many parents wanted to be kept it the loop about any and all problems their child might be having. This made it easier to ask for a short conference early in the year to nip any potential problem in the bud.”
The third point, listening to the parent without defense, can be perhaps the most difficult to learn. “Lumps in the throat” still occur for many of us who receive a message that says a parent wants to speak with us immediately. We may feel a need to become defensive even if we don’t know why the parent needs to talk. There is no reason to fear a conference with a parent, but there might be a reason to feel guilty – if the student’s academic performance or behavior was something that you should have told his parents about before they contacted you! It’s normal to feel anxious, because we care, but we can control our defensiveness toward a parent.
Our attitude toward a parent should be one of warmth. Avoid taking a stance. We need to be empathetic, placing our opinions aside. When we do, parents will believe we are easy to talk with and will communicate more easily and freely with us. Debruyn concludes: “…a cold, hasty or matter-of-fact attitude will not secure the trust and confidence of any human being. Sometimes we think these attitudes prove our objectivity and professionalism. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The image you project as a teacher and as a human being reflects upon you, your teaching and your entire school.”
What did teachers say about this point?”
“One parent whom I met at the beginning of the year still seemed to have her guard up. As the year progressed, we’ve been able to build a strong relationship. At this point we eMail or talk daily as needed.”
“I’ve had more communication with all my families this year. I feel those students with learning issues, who have low benchmark scores, or needed more than just a classroom approach have been better served this year by the number of conferences held with parents.”
“Parents realize that I have the child’s best interest in mind.”
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