One way to manage stress: Focus on self-care

[Editor’s note: This is the 11th installment in Jennifer Abrams’ ‘Personal Development’ column for eSchool News. In her columns, Abrams focuses on leadership skills for anyone working in a school or district. Read more about the column here.]  

In 1995, Robert Kegan, now emeritus professor at Harvard’s Graduate School of Education, wrote a book entitled In Over Our Heads: The Mental Demands of Modern Life. He asked—given all the complexity surrounding us—if we had what it takes to live healthy and successful lives. Since then we have seen a plethora of books trying to help us work through the personal and global challenges we face on a day-to-day basis. Jennifer Garvey Berger and Keith Johnston wrote Simple Habits for Complex Times: Powerful Practices for Leaders, Elena Aguilar just published Onward: Cultivating Emotional Resilience for Educators, and Laura van Dernoot Lipsky is coming out with The Age of Overwhelm: Strategies for the Long Haul.

In addition to supporting ourselves, we as educators also learn more to support students. We are more trauma informed with Debbie Zacarian’s Teaching to Strengths: Supporting Students Living with Trauma, Violence, and Chronic Stress, and gritty with Angela Duckworth’s Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. These two texts are the start of the booklist that one can access to help students with their social and emotional development. With all the challenges we face in today’s world, we need to prioritize our own emotional and psychological well-being too.…Read More

What NOT to do if you want to be more influential

[Editor’s note: This is the 10th installment in Jennifer Abrams’ ‘Personal Development’ column for eSchool News. In her columns, Abrams focuses on leadership skills for anyone working in a school or district. Read more about the column here.]  

In last month’s column, I wrote about being of influence and key reminders if we want to increase our scope of influence, no matter our role. I mentioned three important influential behaviors.

  1. Don’t just have complaints; have suggestions.
  2. Take a field trip to the other person’s world.
  3. People will resist change. Don’t freak out.

While these key behaviors aren’t the only skills you could acquire as you craft your communications and build your influential savviness, they do help. There are also things you should not do if you want to be of influence. Here are three.…Read More

Being influential: What does it take?

[Editor’s note: This is the ninth installment in Jennifer Abrams’ ‘Personal Development’ column for eSchool News. In her columns, Abrams focuses on leadership skills for anyone working in a school or district. Read more about the column here.]  

I coach many a teacher who shares with me that they are frustrated with the system in which they work. They have ideas to make things better but complain that no one listens. I have been there. I was that teacher, frustrated with my ability to make a difference in a bigger way. What would it take to be of more influence?

When I went to get my credential, I learned how to teach students but didn’t get any coursework or learning in how to work effectively with adults. If you want to increase your scope of influence beyond your students and your classroom, there are skills you can learn that make a difference. Here are just three.…Read More

How do I share something difficult with my colleague?

[Editor’s note: This is the eighth installment in Jennifer Abrams’ ‘Personal Development’ column for eSchool News. In her columns, Abrams focuses on leadership skills for anyone working in a school or district. Read more about the column here.]  

Something happened. Your colleague said something you found a bit harsh or inappropriate. Something inaccurate or uncalled for. She said it to you. Or to a student. Gulp.

You froze. It was an “ouch” moment. Now what? Do you run out into the parking lot and gossip about your colleague? Do you call your spouse or partner to complain? Or, do you figure out a humane and growth-producing way to share your feelings or concerns with your colleague?…Read More

How do I share something challenging with my supervisor?

[Editor’s note: This is the seventh installment in Jennifer Abrams’ ‘Personal Development’ column for eSchool News. In her columns, Abrams focuses on leadership skills for anyone working in a school or district. Read more about the column here.]  

Almost everyone of us has someone we work with who is “above us” on the hierarchy. A principal, a manager, a department chair, a director, an assistant superintendent, the boss. These people work with us, but also have the role of providing supervision or holding us accountable for our progress. So we are in some ways, at some times, intimidated by them.

It is hard to share a truth or give your feedback to someone who you feel is “above you.” And yet, those who are on the ground doing the work have valuable insight into the inner workings of a school, a perspective that needs to be heard, and we need to provide our input. How do we do so when we feel it might be a challenge to hear our feedback? A few tips:…Read More

“What you should do is…” and other ways to offer a suggestion that annoys people

[Editor’s note: This is the sixth installment in Jennifer Abrams’ ‘Personal Development’ column for eSchool News. In her columns, Abrams focuses on leadership skills for anyone working in a school or district. Read more about the column here.]  

We’ve all been there. We know better. We want to help others just “get it.” Then we tell them what they should do. If they just tried this or did that, their problem would surely be fixed. It is a no-brainer for us, but it isn’t anything but annoying for others.

I think help is a great thing, but your idea of help may not be seen by those you are trying to assist as helpful at all. For more on this fantastic idea, read Edgar Schein’s books, Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling and Helping: How to Offer, Give and Receive Help.…Read More

How to ask the questions people want to answer

[Editor’s note: This is the fourth installment in Jennifer Abrams’ ‘Personal Development’ column for eSchool News. In her columns, Abrams focuses on leadership skills for anyone working in a school or district. Read more about the column here.]  

“How was your winter holiday?”
“What are your resolutions for 2018?”
“How are you today?”

Lots of eager ears are awaiting your responses. Or are they? And are you interested in answering those questions?…Read More