What NOT to do if you want to be more influential

[Editor’s note: This is the 10th installment in Jennifer Abrams’ ‘Personal Development’ column for eSchool News. In her columns, Abrams focuses on leadership skills for anyone working in a school or district. Read more about the column here.]  

In last month’s column, I wrote about being of influence and key reminders if we want to increase our scope of influence, no matter our role. I mentioned three important influential behaviors.

1. Don’t just have complaints; have suggestions.
2. Take a field trip to the other person’s world.
3. People will resist change. Don’t freak out.

While these key behaviors aren’t the only skills you could acquire as you craft your communications and build your influential savviness, they do help. There are also things you should not do if you want to be of influence. Here are three.

1. Don’t be so credible that you forget being approachable.
There are many people in education that fake it ’til they make it. It’s understandable. Showing confidence, even if you don’t feel it, is a good thing to do in many situations. In her now famous TED talk, Amy Cuddy spoke about the “Power Pose” and how just two minutes standing like Wonder Woman can change how people perceive you.

It is a good thing to look in control and confident, but in many contexts, credibility isn’t as influential as approachability. Nodding, leaning in, smiling, leaning to the side, being of ease in your chair—demonstrating your comfort through your posture draws others in to hear you more effectively. There are times when physically showing approachability with your body and tone will connect you with the person you are talking to in a greater way than being too upright and rigid with your stance and tone. Being confident is great. So is being real.